I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
