break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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