mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
