she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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