So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
