I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
