I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh god it's open bar.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
