he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
