if i can run in heels then i can drive
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
