youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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