Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Let's get the cat blown out
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
