im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
