They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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