The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
