He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
