In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
