i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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