I heard we made out
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
did i walk over a car last night?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
