I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He better not be in your backpack
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
