Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
