i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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