How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
