Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
