Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize