I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
