I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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