i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
