You're completely useless in the revolution.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
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i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
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And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.