i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.