he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up