ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize