I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's paint friendship bongs
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.