I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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