she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
