super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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