I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
