1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
