he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
