Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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