I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
