I just gift wrapped bread.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize