He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we're so committed to being not committed
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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