She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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