I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
