She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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