I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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