and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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