I'm gonna have a badass scar
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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