It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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