hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
