remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize