Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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