everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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