Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
