I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think your dad took our porno
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
