So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
