You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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