ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
