I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
