I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
