There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
