my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Randomize
