He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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