you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
