I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
