Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
